YOU SAY ISRAELIS, I SAY UNRULY....

There is an intriguing article from Robert Fisk in the Independent today where he talks about Hamas and the Israeli Army, both of which he criticises strongly.

What is interesting is the point he makes that the Israeli Army has not won a conflict since 1973. All its incursions into Lebanon ended in chaos, stalemate and eventual withdrawal, with Hizbollah able to establish itself as a serious threat to Israel and a state within a state in Lebanon. Not much to celebrate there, then.

This is interesting because it hints at the possibility that the assault on Gaza is not an attempt to ‘defeat terrorism’ or achieve ‘securtity’ for Israel. Instead it might simply be an attempt to shore up the troubled Israeli state through that tried and trusted method normally adopted by dictators of choosing an external enemy which is far worse than he (it is usually a ‘he’) is, thus cowing the poopulation into obeisance.

Now there is no question that Israel is a democracy and that it has free elections, although they are distorted by the occupation and the religious fanatics that every Israeli government needs for a majority, but this article by Fisk does focus attention back onto Israel far more than any other I have read.

For the first time in many days I have a flickering of regard for the country and for the doubtless thousands (hopefully millions) of Israelis who want the killing to stop and to be allowed simply to get on with their lives and to be regarded with less animosity around the world in countries other than the USA.

This to me is the key to peace across the globe. Create the conditions to let ordinary people live their lives, get married, have kids, earn money, buy a nice house and all the associated mundanity of a normal life and suddenly blowing up one’s neighbour and inviting retaliation when you’ve got 18 years still to go on your mortgage seems less enticing.

Fisk’s article hints that such an outcome might – just might – be possible even in this most disastrous of regions and it could possibly even occur without the input of the craven Americans.

OH DEAR GOD

Anyone who thinks we live in rational times, read the following comment I have received. This is how wars begin and why so many countless millions have died in the name of religion. And this is why Americans support Israel unquestioningly. God help us all...

"2008 and not even ended and war has begun in Israel. Israel is at the centre of all things. That is why we need to watch the events that unfold carefully so that we don’t miss the second coming of our Lord just like the Jews who missed the first coming of the Messiah.

"Ok what is happening in Gaza and what does God tell us about Gaza. The Old Testament tells us that this is a Samson and Philistine battle. (Israel and Palestine’s - David and Goliath).

"This is what is occurring today, why? Because, when God spared Noah and his family, and gave them the land to dwell in, Noah cast lots among his sons and cursed the brother that tries to take the land away from the other brother. This is the cursed that has been for 6000 years.

"Ok, so what does God say about Gaza today?
Isaiah 14:29:32
Ezekiel 25:15-17
Jeremiah 47:2-7

"Now because of this war, Israel is being condemned around the world by all nations, not just protester. Soon this will allow the Kings of the North and South to have an excuse to invade Israel and will try to wipe her off the map.

"They will be successful in wiping out 1/3 of Israel. But as they think, they are winning. The Messiah will descend from heaven and rescue them, only at this point will they will turn to God for help.

"But Israel will not go down, with out a fight. She has 200 -400 nuclear war head at her disposals. And she will use all of them, its call the “Samson Option”. This would bring destruction to Damascus which will no longer be a city and parts of Iran.

"Remember what is happening right now has already fuelled more hatred against Israel. And the Arab nations have vowel to united and bring an end to Israel at all cost.

"Ok, so what must we do? Pray for Israel. Remember God said ‘I will bless those who bless Israel.’

"I have been to Israel and as much as I dare not say it, I understand the pain and sadness of the Palestine’s and I dislike the arrogance of the Jews. But I still love the Jews.

"Remember the fig tree has brought forth its leaves but it bears no fruit. Why? Because we (Gentiles) are the fruit ‘remember Jesus cursed the fig tree that bears no fruit even when it wasn’t fig season. Why? Because that fig tree is a picture of Israel and it has been cursed.

"When the last Gentile has been usher into the Kingdom of God and sealed then the Messiah will come back and show himself to the remaining Jewish people. We are living in exciting day’s people. Remember to watch, learn and discern the truth from the fakes."

Anyway, back from fairyland there really is nothing I can possibly add to this. May God help us all - that is assuming s/he has stopped weeping over how far her/his message has been misinterpreted by loons the world over.

PERSPECTIVE

The Independent reports that 320 Palestinians have been killed in the last four days in Gaza, while 4 Israelis have lost their lives to Hamas rocket attacks. Israeli Defence Minister Ehud Barak said: "Unless the criminal fire at Israeli citizens stops immediately, Israel will utilise all the legal means at its disposal in order to halt the enemy's aggression."

This kind of comment gives me pause for reflection. Perhaps the Israelis genuinely don’t know what they are doing. Perhaps they believe that keeping 1.5m people in an effective prison camp where they can watch their children starve daily and then bombarding them at regular intervals to ensure ‘peace’ and ‘security’ really is a way to secure the state of Israel.

We have some dim politicians here, we have some clever ones and we have some arrogant ones. We have George Osborne, after all – I’ll leave that one there. But we also have MagniVincent. We have the estimable Ken Clarke and the respected Peter Mandelson. The point is that we have intelligent politicians and idiots – in fact the whole range which makes and reflects our society. Is Israel so different from other countries that only the most blinkered and aggressive people make it into politics?

Can they all have so little knowledge of conflicts which have gone before that they are entirely unable to see the wood for the trees. Is no Israeli aware of the peace achieved between Germany and France after 1945 following 80 years of bitter fighting, occupation and mutual enmity, when both sides tried to deliver a knockout blow but eventually realised that it wasn’t going to happen? Is no Israeli aware of the remarkable accommodation in Northern Ireland in recent years – of the fact the one of the world’s bigest ideologues and naysayers, Ian Paisley, nevertheless sat down with his enemy and ran a government peacefully with them? Did no Israel politician go to South Africa during the apartheid era to see for themselves that people treated as second class citizens in their own country will not stand for it and ultimately they will rebel against injustice.

Are there no historians in Israel, a country established on thousands of years of history and tradition as perhaps no other country in the world has been?

There is not even any point in despair since it achieves so little. The key to this whole catastrophe remains the USA and Barack Obama said in Israel this year that he would ‘do anything’ to defend his daughters from rocket attacks. What a guy…

So the prospects for 2009? More of the same. The prospects for 2010? Well, make it up yourself.

GAZA, GAZA, GONE...

On the current slaughter in Gaza, its difficult to think of new things to say. Happily (!) Robert Fisk can find the right response in this article.

And as ever our government calls for restraint...Oh, and the Middle East Envoy, one Tony Blair, says precisely bugger all.

Happy New Year everyone.

NO, ISRAEL, OCCUPATION IS STILL OCCUPATION EVEN IF YOU CLAIM CRITICISM TO BE ANTI-SEMITIC

Israeli 'hardline' MP Yuval Steinitz has complained about the British Foreign Office advisory to be posted on its website, which recommends that UK residents do not invest in property on the West Bank, Golan Heights or in East Jerusalem as the future political situation in Israel and Palestine might result in problems with the value of property there. Apparently this advisory from the UK government is 'anti-semitic'.

Well, Mr Steinitz, firstly these areas are all occupied land and any development there by the occupying power - Israel - is illegal in international law. So there shouldn't even be any investment opportunities in the first place.

Secondly, this advisory is perfectly sensible for British citizens and it is wise of the British government to seek to protect the interests of its people.

Thirdly, the advisory can't be anti-semitic since it relates to land claimed by the Palestinians and Syrians, both of whom are Arabs and thus semitic. Dimwit.

So, get off back behind your illegal wall, come to your senses and realise that the occupation can't go on for ever and leave our government alone to look after the best interests of its citizens.

WHAT A JOLLY NICE FRONT BENCH TEAM WE HAVE

Having fought my way through the Baghdad-style security into the inner sanctum, the first edifice you come to is the awesome Westminster Hall, the 1000 year old heart of the whole complex which simply oozes history – and a very atmospheric damp smell to boot. Rather incongruously there is a Christmas tree inside this otherwise empty chamber, which doesn’t really fit. However, its nice that they tried.

We then climbed up through flights of stairs and along warrens of corridors to the very top of the building where we met Nickers himself and the estimable Julia Goldsworthy. Both are very impressive, primarily through their relaxed confidence. What I found most heartening was the clear warmth between them, suggesting a very good working relationship. They were relaxed and chatty, although the Great Man did still exhibit an element of grandstanding in his responses to our questions. That said, he answered our questions honestly with just a little spin.

It is always encouraging to meet LD MPs as almost all of them are normal, pleasant and frighteningly intelligent. By comparison you just have to smirk a little when you look at the Tory front bench.

WELCOME TO PARLIAMENT. JUST BEND OVER AND RELAX...

About 8 years ago I went to Parliament to meet someone. I entered at St Stephen’s Tower and walked by the ever-present policemen, who acknowledged me in a relaxed manner. I walked through one of those airport security machines and then into the main lobby. Fair enough, a little security for the seat of our government is entirely appropriate and I didn’t bat an eyelid.

I returned yesterday to meet a couple of LD MPs and found things had changed a bit. The police scowled menacingly, although I don’t recally seeing any guns. The building is now surrounded by concrete crash barriers and huge metal barriers for cars to enter through. All cars approaching the building must go through a special barrier where they can be scowled at some more – even taxis, which though below pond life in my estimation, aren’t likely to blow up their vehicles any time soon any more than they will go south of the river for a decent price…

Approaching on foot you are directed away from St Stephen’s Tower and down a ramp to queue for a few minutes. A man gives you a lanyard and you enter in twos to be phoptographed and given your image to hang on said lanyard. You then have to remove your jacket and all your metal stuff to go through the airport luggage scanner while you walk through the usual airport thing. At this point visions of coppers snapping on rubber gloves began to come to mind but happily this particular precaution faield to materialise.

Once you have completed this palaver you are then free to enter the seat of democracy and to seek out your elected representative – if you can still be bothered.

If that Tony Blair ever shows his face in London telling us all how much better things are since he declared war on the muslim world, I do hope some gentle bus driver veers off course to express a nation’s disapproval in a tangible way.

FLIP FLOPS OUT FOR THE PLANET!

I love climate change protestors. I genuinely believe that climate change is an issue but I also believe that standing in a field eating lentils and wearing flip flops won't solve much.

Whenever I hear about another one of these demos I ask myself several questions.
1. How many of these good people drove to the protest?
2. How many of them use electricity of the kind generated at the Kingsnorth power station?
3. How many of them will have a lovely bath when they get home from being 'eco-warriors'?
4. How many of them buy plastic products of the kind manufactured using horrible, nasty smelly oil?
5. How many of them drive back to mummy and daddy's for Christmas and indulge in an energy-guzzling fest of the type mere mortals do as well?

I believe completely that we must address the causes of climate change but I think there is more mileage in practical, innovative solutions than there is in dreadlocks and folk music.

Ain't I a stinker?!

[NB: to deflect some of the derision, I drive the smallest car I can - an old 1.2l, I use 100% green electricity, I compost all the food waste I can and I recycle around two thirsd of my rubbish each week. So nerrr!]

OH, WHAT AN ATMOSPHERE!

A question springs to my mind in the wake of news that the Arctic has apparently gone past ‘the point of no return’ [too much science fiction reading among scientists, methinks…] in warming and that an ice-free future is foreseen any time now.

Now, I buy into all this so I’m not ridiculing it but I also have faith that a practical solution will be found. I am an inveterate optimist and I think that all the doomsayers really should push off to France to be miserable there. They do philosophical depression so well, after all.

However, the problem remains, so, my question to anyone who deems themselves scientifically literate is this: if the planet is warming up isn’t this in itself a form of energy? Therefore could it not be tapped into in some way, such as using the rise in sea temperatures, to generate energy and divert the heating away from the atmosphere?

LESBY AVENUE

Isn't life just great when the perpetrator of a multi-billion pound finance fraud is called 'Madoff', pronounced on most of the news services 'made off'. Fabulous!

SHOO

Like around 99% of the world's population, I'm no fan of the current US President but I don't wish him any personal harm. I threfore would not support or defend the actions of the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at the American President as a 'farewell kiss' from the Iraqi people.

However, there is something rather poetic about this attack. This is a traditional Arab insult, as witnessed by the images after the fall of Saddam of an Iraqi rubbing a picture of the dictator with his sandal and then, in an image the BBC later cut out, rubbing his scrotum on the picture.

The message of both incidents is clear and it definitely beats a bullet or a bomb as an act of protest.

It should also be acknowledged that Bush handled it rather well. Let's hope he got the hint.

EFNAKREPPUNA? WHAT EFNAKREPPUNA?!

I recently drafted a letter to the local newspaper on behalf of a councillor and the letter, concerning Icelandic investments, included the word ‘schadenfreude’. A resident complained that we were using foreign words in our letters, which may or may not be valid, depending on your point of view.

I discussed this with colleagues and one of them pointed out that the Icelandic for ‘schadenfreude’ is ‘thodargledi’, which is fun.

However, infinitely more fun is the fact that ‘economic crisis’ in Icelandic is ‘efnakreppuna’.

So, as well as the gorgeous blondes – of both sexes, Bjork, the fascinating scenery and of course the opportunity for Dave to sink without a trace, we now have a beautiful Icelandic word for the current situation.

It’s the efnakreppuna, stupid!

WHAT DO YOU KNOW - THERE IS A REASON FOR THE TORIES!

There was me in the foulest of moods all day today, thanks to my car insurance company, which has buggered me around over a recent claim - not to mention the poor departed deer which did for my car in the first place and which, on balance, clearly came off worse. The kids have been bemoaning dad's lack of humour and generally keeping out of my way while I have stamped around looking cross. As for the cat, I doubt it will ever be the same again. I'll buy it a toy tomorrow...

Imagine my surprise and pleasure, therefore, at reading on the BBC news website about doughty LD MP Lynne Featherstone's brush with a faulty boiler which malfunctioned and over which she called the Fire Brigade, a response the London Fire Brigade said was entirely sensible.

This didn't cause me the said pleasure but the sanctimonious response of the Tory head of the London Fire Authority, Brian [why are they always called Brian?!] Coleman, calling our Lynne 'dizzy', did.

There is, after all, nothing to warm the cockles more than a shitty Tory being, well, shitty. I have found over many years of low level activism that nothing encourages me more than an encounter with a Tory of the ilk of Brian Coleman.

So here's to the miserable, self-righteous bastard. My profound and warm thanks to him and his ghastly kind for cheering me up!

WE CAN'T DANCE FOREVER, DAVE. SOMEDAY SOON WE HAVE TO GET DOWN TO SOME REAL ACTION.

This is what Dave said the Tories would do to address the current financial crisis, as reported in the Independent:

"A credible long-term plan for controlling public spending has three components. First, reducing the demands on the state by fixing our broken society. Second, increasing the productivity of the state by reforming our public services. And third, cutting government waste."

Which is pretty much nothing. How exactly will the Tories – the party of priviledge – ‘fix the broken society’. They did a blinding job on that score in the 1980s, after all...What is the ‘broken society’? Where is the ‘broken society’? And what on earth makes Dave think he’s the man to address it?

How different is the Tories’ pledge to reform the public services from the Labour pledge to, er, reform the public services. Where’s the meat, Dave?

Finally, what government debt will they cut? Some details would be good, just as the LD Treasury team has set out areas it is looking into, such as the long-term ambition to get rid of the DTI. Any details would be an improvement.

This is as much as the man who wants to be Prime Minister can say on future Tory plans. This is the man who still can’t bring himself to sack the useless George Osborne as Shadow Chancellor because he’s a close friend. This is a man who increasingly can’t make the weight which is required of the leader of the opposition. We must all just pray that voters will wake up to this massive scam before its too late.

And when he falls, whither the Tories? Yup, off to the right with them!

A WORD IN DEFENCE OF SOCIAL WORKERS

I have some sympathy for the employees of Haringey Council's Social Services at the moment. They have demonstrably failed in their role in defending the tragic 'Baby P' and there is clearly an urgent need for an inquiry into their many mistakes. However, what irks me most is that they are held 'responsible' for the death of the child by the good people of the Fourth Estate.

Now, the team responsible for protecting this vulnerable child clearly screwed up badly and the head of their department has quite reasonably been sacked without any compensation - rare among high level public officials. They need to look again at everything they do and change it root and branch. But still, it wasn't a social worker who beat this child, it wasn't a social worker who broke this child's back, it wasn't a social worker who subjected this child to hideous abuse for many months of his life -it was the 'carers'.

The 'blame culture' rumbles on, fuelled by the tabloids but the real culprits are somehow forgotten among the self-righteous blather of so many commentators. Let's hope a sense of perspective is a popular gift among hacks this Christmas.

YES, BUT WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Dave said on the Today programme that the government was putting the Pound at risk through its borrowing plans to try to revive the economy following the banking fiasco. He said the Tories would abandon Labour's budget plans for 2010-11. He said little else of note.

Now, I don't pretend to fully understand the current financial crisis and I wouldn't seek to provide my own solutions - but then I'm not the leader of the opposition. I am also in no way seeking to defend the government, although I will extend grudging respect to them for having got back into the game so effectively.

The question which needs answering bears repeating. Any Tory pontificating about the economy and how terrible the government is should be asked 'Yes, but what would you do?'

Sadly, we only have Naughtie, Humphrys and Paxman to ask questions of our politicians so there's little chance of this being posed any time soon.

THE QUEEN'S SPEECH IN FULL

A colleague of mine sent this so I claim no credit for it. Compliments to Tom Dommett instead.

"My Lords and Members of the House of Commons who aren’t currently under arrest.

"My Government's overriding priority is to avoid any blame for the problems with the British economy which are due to the global economic downturn. Get that? ‘Global Economic Downturn’. It’s not our fault. ‘Global Downturn’, remember? Look into my eyes: ’Global Downturn.

"The strength of the financial sector is vital to the future vibrancy of the economy. It’s been pretty vibrant recently! Ha, ha, ha, sorry, I can’t keep a straight face.

"My Government will also bring forward proposals to create Saving Gateway Accounts to encourage people with no money to save. These are not just ordinary saving accounts, these are ‘Gateway’ savings accounts.

"My Government will bring forward legislation to promote local economic development, to counter - all together now - the ‘GLOBAL ECONOMIC DOWNTURN’.

"A Bill will be brought forward to reform the welfare system, to improve incentives for people to move from benefits into sustained employment - but not MPs and short sellers, obviously.

"A Bill will be brought forward to increase the effectiveness and public accountability of policing to reduce crime and disorder and to enhance airport security. Yes, we have already had 126 criminal justice bills but if at first you don’t succeed…

"A Bill will be brought forward to strengthen border controls, working with our special science advisor, a Dr Hu, to create a force field to stop the 1 million plus people who enter or leave the UK everyday from moving.

"My Government is committed to ensuring everyone has a fair chance in life. It’s called the National Lottery.

"My Government will enshrine in law its commitment to eradicate child poverty by 2020. Missing targets hasn’t worked, so it will therefore be illegal to be a poor child after 2020.

"Because the health of the nation is vital to its success and well-being, a Bill will be brought forward to strengthen the National Health Service, which has been damaged by years of mismanagement. No, honestly, have you tried to get an NHS dentist recently?!

"My Government will bring forward a Bill to reform education, training and apprenticeships, to promote excellence in all schools. There are more repeats than on ‘Dave’ in this speech...

"My Government will continue to take forward proposals on constitutional renewal, including strengthening the role of Parliament and other measures, but none of the ones supported by the Liberals. Yuk, nasty party.

"My Government will bring forward measures to protect the environment for future generations. A Bill will be introduced to manage marine resources and to create a new right of public access to the coastline, which because of lack of action on climate change is moving closer to people all the time.

"My Government will lead Europe by not turning up or joining in, whenever possible – we will negotiate an opt-out from everything we can.

"Did I mention the global downturn, it really is nothing to do with us, trust me.

"Iran will press for a comprehensive peace settlement in the Middle East, for continued progress in Iraq and for effective measures to address concerns over UK’s nuclear programme.

"My Government will work with the Governments of Afghanistan and Pakistan for security, stability and prosperity - no don’t laugh!

"The Duke of Edinburgh and I look forward to receiving the President of Mexico. Who wouldn’t?

WHAT THE LDs STAND FOR IN A SINGLE PHRASE

To the current question ‘define the LDs in a single phrase’, I have always believed the answer is simply ‘equality of opportunity’.

This means giving everyone a fair start in life, with a decent home, a good education, good healthcare, the prospect of a good job and support in situations where people are unable to work.

You could even simplify it to that one word: opportunity. Opportunity comes from living in a fair, free and just society.

So there you have it. I will send an invoice for my fee by the end of the week. Used fivers only please.

Well, duuuh!

According to the BBC, Yahoo's marketing arm has announced that Britney is a more popular search item than Obama.

This, apparently, is news. It might even surprise someone, perhaps the tribes who live on the Andaman Islands, althougn I understand that they don't have broadband yet so they may not give a damn - just like the rest of us.