I have just attended my first ever court case, a civil hearing before a judge at which someone I had a car accident with was claiming costs against me. This has been rumbling on for a year so in many ways I have been looking forward to resolving this.
I have completed statement after statement, drawn pictures until I could have given Tony Hart a run for his money and generally argued the toss about everything in detail.
Naturally, I did my best to tell the truth as the other person hit me, so it was in my interests to do so. It was their fault so where was the problem – or so I believed in my innocence...Also it was such a minor collision that I didn't even get my car fixed. I decided that the dent on my driver's door adds to my car's invulnerability in car parks and the like since it is such a pigsty that no one in their right mind would think or breaking into it or stealing it.
Unfortunately the hearing didn't take place in the real world. Oh no. It took place in the wacky world of motor insurance where night is day, where unicorns roam in Africa and where flying pigs flock across our skies.
As if by magic in this wonderful otherworld the accident moved to a different location, I did everything wrong, I pulled out in front of the other person – on a fast road with my baby daughter in in the car, as you would – and I lied about everything possible. Bastard!
The other person told such a wonderful tale that we needed to pass round the tissues at one stage. I cursed myself for being such a terrible driver and | felt for them as they revealed that, actually everything I believed – indeed knew – to be true as I was there at the time of the incident was complete and utter nonsense. I was ashamed.
I should of course have known for I have had one or two insurance claims before and the tales that are told have all been worthy of Hans Christian Anderson.
So now, having endured my first – and I hope only – court hearing and been told I am a liar, a cheat and a thoroughly bad egg I will remember to my dying breath that where cars are concerned the only thing to do is to lie, lie and lie again.
What a great system it is.
NB: the other party's insurance company was Direct Line and I would like to state for the the record that a bigger bunch of shysters and crooks does not exist this side of Helmand.
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2 comments:
Apologies to a recent commenter, I am afraid I don't publish anonymous comments, a rule I have only broken once.
They cannot possible be bigger shysters than Royal Sun Alliance.
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