IAIN DALE ISN'T A PARTY APPARATCHIK AND I'M IMELDA MARCOS

I heard that Iain Dale bloke on The World at One today defending Julie Kirkbride. Decent fella, he said she's a luverly girl, trying to hold down a decent job while her brother looks after her child. Quite right, say I. Women need to work to support their husbands and this Ms Kirkbride is doing a great job. And what's wrong with her building her brother a little extension to live in? I'm happy to pay my taxes for that.

My friend's a working mum. She's also a district councillor. So I says to her, 'Don't worry about looking after your kids at your own expense, why not get the local Council Taxpayer to foot the bill? Your mum could move in and look after them. And, if there's no room, surely your council can build her an extension.' She says to me that the council won't build her an extension and won't pay her relatives to live with her at the taxpayer's expense!

What is the world coming to?!

So I says to her, 'Why don't you and your husband buy another house? Then you can each claim a second home allowance.' She told me the council won't pay for this either. I said to her that she should get herself elected to Parliament then, so she can follow the shining example to working mothers of that Ms Kirkbride. If she can wring out the taxpayer for every last fiver, why shouldn't you?

That's why that Iain Dale was clearly spot on to defend his cheating, lying, deceitful colleague.