PMQs - HERE COME THE WEASELS

Well, it will no doubt be unfashionable to say so but I thought Mr Speaker Toad acquitted himself admirably today. He was clear, commanding and - crucially - he directed most of his criticisms at the mindless baying public school benches of the Tories. More of the same might make him popular enough to actually do something to change this charade for the better.

As for Dave, he just can't land a blow. He had an open goal today (to mix metaphors furiously) but he simply parroted his attack and Gordon parroted his response. A great day for incisive debate then as two suited schoolboys shouted abuse at each other.

Its such a shame to hear our MPs get up and ask sensible, measured questions. They just don't get the way the House works. I mean, they expect answers, which is just plain daft. We need conference training on making that ghastly 'ooouuurrrrr' sound favoured by the Tories, a session on looking unconscionably smug, a session on making a fatuous, pointless dig disguised as a question and a session explaining why on earth this half hour each week is of any value whatsoever. Nickers suffers from 'sensiblitis' as well. He tried to make a dig but he just sounds too reasonable.

Blackadder may have the answer. If you recall in the Georgian series the Prince was given training in speaking by two actors and he was told to stand like a prat, make a roaring sound and generally shout like a buffoon. When satire comes this close to the truth it kind of becomes tragic...